I regrettably saw The Dictator recently, and it was pretty lame. Not only in its content (I hope you love terrorist jokes!), but just in the fact that most of the jokes are bombs (see what I did there? TERRORIST JOKE!).
Archive for the ‘Movie Review’ Category
Movie Review: The Avengers (AKA STUFF IT ROBERTS)
Posted in Comics, Movie Review, Movies, Uncategorized, tagged black widow, Captain America, fucking sharks ate me, hawkeye, iron man, Marvel, nick fury, the avengers, the hulk, Thor on May 5, 2012 | 6 Comments »
With literally years of build up The Avengers finally landed in movie theaters this weekend. And wouldn’t ya know it? I got a free advanced screening of the movie! Suck on that Scott! Someone beat you to the punch! But enough gloating (Screw you Roberts!!), I walked into this movie with very high hopes. Joss [...]
Lazy Movie Review: The Five Year Engagement
Posted in Lazy Movie Review, Movie Review, Movies, tagged Alison Brie, Brian Posehn, British people, Chris Parnell, Chris Pratt, comedy, Community, dudes will like this movie, Emily Blunt, film, Film Reviews, Jason Segel, Kevin Hart, love, Mindy Kaling, Movie Reviews, movies, my girlfriend would murder me if I dragged out an engagement for five years, nbc, pacing, Parks & Rec, Rated R, RECORD SCRATCH, romantic comedies, romantic comedy, The Five Year Engagement, weddings on May 1, 2012 | 2 Comments »
Premise: Jason Segel and Emily Blunt have been in a relationship for a year, and Segel asks Blunt to marry him. She says yes and they begin to plan their wedding. (RECORD SCRATCH) Until Blunt gets a dream job in Michigan, and causes Segel to quit his job as a highly regarded San Fransisco chef [...]
Lazy Movie Review: God Bless America
Posted in Lazy Movie Review, Movie Review, Movies, tagged Alice Cooper, America, AMERICA FUCK YEAH, Americal Idol, Bill O'Reilly, Bobcat Goldtwait, comedy, dark comedy, dark humory, Diablo Cody, DON'T YOU HATE PANTS?, ehhhhhhhh, film, Film Reviews, God Bless America, good but not mind blowing, gratuitous Simpsons quotes, Idiocracy, idiots, inconsiderate people, Joel Murray, morons, Movie Reviews, movie violence, movies, My Super Sweet 16, neighbors, preaching, preachy, serial killers, USA, violence, Westboro Baptist Church, World's Greatest Dad on April 25, 2012 | 2 Comments »
Premise: A middle aged man (Joel Murray, brother of Bill) is becoming increasingly sick, both mentally and physically, over how inconsiderate, dimwitted, and mean America has become. Eventually, he gets fed up with it all, and instead of taking his own life, he decides to become a serial killer that takes the lives of the [...]
Movie Review:: The Raid: Redemption
Posted in Movie Review, Movies, tagged action films, action movies, AND I THOUGHT MY LANDLORD WAS CRAZY!!, apartment buildings, Asia, Asian films, BRING IT, culture, drug dealers, drugs, Elite Squad: The Enemy Within, film, Film Reviews, guns, I don't know who's gonna carry that refrigerator mizz Leesa but it ain't gonna be me, Indonesia, Indonesian films, JUST BEAR HUG HIM, LOUD NOISES, machetes, martial arts, martial arts films, most minimal plot necessary, Movie Reviews, movies, Ong Bak, pacing, police, questionable colon use, remember Enter the Dragon? that was a good movie, shaky cam, Storage Wars, Storage Wars: Texas, tension, The Mike Voss School of Martial Arts, The Protector, The Raid: Redemption, Tony Jaa, Welsh pride, YYYYuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup on April 23, 2012 | 2 Comments »
Is it sad that the only times I see subtitled films in the theater anymore are when 1) Will Ferrell decides to randomly make a Spanish language film, or 2) an Asian country releases a badass martial arts film?
Titanic Revisited – And Why Rose is Kind of a Bitch (in 3D!)
Posted in Movie Review, Movies, Rant, tagged 13 year old Scott got a boner from that titty, 1990s, 1997, 3D, 3D boobs, A BILLION DOLLARZ, Avatar, Bill Paxton, Billy Zane, boats, boobs, Celine Dion, charity, destructo-meter, diamonds, disasters, epic, film, Film Reviews, films, fucking a guy who isn't your boyfriend in your boyfriend's car, Heart of the Sea, hypothetical situations, I'M ON A BOAT, Jack Dawson, James Cameron, Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, LOUD NOISES, Movie Reviews, movies, My Heart Will Go On, poor people, Regal Theaters, remember that fat guy with the smiley face shirt?, rich people, Rose Dawson, Rose is kind of a bitch, selfish, selfishness, special effects, steamy hand on window car sex, teen girls, the 1%, Titanic, Titanic 3D, tragedy on April 9, 2012 | 5 Comments »
So my girlfriend (who, in 1997, had Leonardo DiCaprio posters covering her bedroom wall) and I went to go see Titanic in 3D over the weekend. Did I feel slightly weird feeding money into the 2nd highest grossing movie of all time’s recent cash grab? Sure, maybe a little. But I didn’t really mind too [...]
Lazy Movie Review: The Innkeepers
Posted in Lazy Movie Review, Movie Review, Movies, tagged bad acting, better than Tree of Life, BRO GHOSTS BRO, cliche, comedy, direct-to-DVD horror, Disney Channel, ehhhhhhhh, film, Film Reviews, ghost films, ghosthunters, ghosts, haunted house, horror films, hotels, House of the Devil, indie films, Lizzy McGuire, Movie Reviews, movies, poorly written piles of shit, Sara Paxton, seance, shit, shitty movies, slaptick, The Innkeepers, Ti West, why can't anyone make consistently good horror films anymore? on April 6, 2012 | 2 Comments »
Premise: It’s the last weekend that a spooky Inn will be open, and the two employees working there are intent on capturing evidence of the ghost that haunts it before they leave. Even more than the concept, I was drawn in because it is Ti West’s follow-up to House of the Devil (which I enjoyed [...]
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